16. A lot, like I mean a lot, of hype

hype [informal] noun

“extravagant or intensive publicity or promotion”

Various artists of hip hop have taught me essentially two important life lessons;

1. “Get[ting] rich or [to] die trying” is a worthy goal (ok, it may be a dubious goal, but Fitty seems to have done well for himself).
2. The use of hype and shameless self-promotion is A-okay (in fact from my small sampling of “the hip and hopping”, self-promotion seems to be an integral aspect of the art, again dubious, but who am I too judge).

You may be asking yourself, didn’t I see a similar photo to this where everyone was wearing the exact same clothing?  Is this the same route and day?!… sadly, no.. oh the life of a dirtsquirrel.

I (by no fault and/or calculation of my own) have been fortunate enough to receive a lot of hype (I mean a lot).  I will list this hype below;

– http://neice.com/2011/11/ice-climbing-nova-scotia/…hyping the ice guide

– http://www.climberism.com/nova-scotia-ice-climbing/ …hyping the ice guide

– http://climbs2high.blogspot.com/  got other bloggers hyping… We met Jon at the Red, he wrote the ice guide to Munising in Upper Michigan, a destination I’d love to visit.

– http://benandkrissy.blogspot.com/2011/09/september-2011-photos.html Second photo down…Samantha on Gargoyle, note how attentively I’m belaying her oh so safely… nailed it!

Bear… you so wisely rule over Miguel’s parking lot.  All the dirtbags ask Bear to mediate their differences, he’s like a hairy Solomon.

“Dear Petzl… or equivalent sponsor of sweet gear,

You may have recently heard about and be following the buzz and/or hype around…ummm, my shameless self promotion.  For the compensation of some free stuff, and a certificate that says “Big Deal Sponsored Climber” (mainly so I can show it to my mom and make her proud).  I will shamelessly promote and hype your excellent products, with same zeal and efficiency which I have promoted myself.

Twinkie… why are you so hard to clean?

An example of stuff I could say about your product,

“I couldn’t have gotten real scared and over gripped and blew the clip without trust in my Sterling rope.  Plus they come in lots of colors that attract females.”

“Evolve shoes are next evolution in sticky rubber, and they come in shiny colors, which is important if you are a crow and like bright things like shoes and butterflies and bottle caps.”

Sending me free shit, it’s an investment in yourself.

Tron-sighting the hell out of “One Brick Shy” 5.10c

We’d also like to announce yet another gold level sponsor.  Dom Caron, you’re the man.  Ladies: Dom climbs hard, bolts smart, and can kick anyone’s ass at swearing-in bilingual scrabble.  Boys: He brews his own mead, and climbs routes with monos.   Dom, you’re the fucking man!

Big Cams, Little Girls.  Little Chimneys, Big Girls… Dom’s fav

On a side note for those keeping track at home, today Samantha climbed Scar Tissue, 5.12 super hard (let’s be realistic, it’s 5.12, they’re all super hard).  She had tried the route more then a year ago.  This time she gave it the ol’ stink eye, and got it on her first try.  Dear Petzl, take note, she can do lots of pull ups and is real cute.  She too will accept free shit from Petzl, but demands that her excellent and safe belayer get free stuff too.

The oh-so necessary hipster quasi-artsy photo of trad gear and shiny shit

“Welcome Rock Climbers”… well, they know their clientele

Tegan, so wise and beautiful.

So, our current time in the Red is coming to an end.  We’re off to go raise chickens, try to ride goats, learn about organic farming, and how to save the world.  We’ll be back in an week, hopefully slightly fatter and ready to tear up our projects.