Chicks Call me Daddy 11c at Lake Louise. Chicks are also impressed by my uninhibited pant flexibility.
So despite my rugged good looks, wit and superlative climbing career, Arcteryx/Scarpa/Columbia has yet to sponsor me. I assume my contact info was lost in the mail. However, I’m not chagrined. This unfortunate turn of events has led to a unique and positive learning opportunity for yours truly. I’ve achieved a level of frugality unbeknownst to my sponsored brethren.
Now I don’t mean to say that I manage my finances wisely, however, I choose to freely wonder around playing in the mountains, hardly a system for economical success. My frugality lies in finding great mountain apparel, brand new, for cheap.
Lake Louise is possibly the easiest place to take epic photos. Alex cruising 10a
My Arcterxy/Scarpa/Columbia clad friends may declare such a feat impossible. Hogwash to our costly clad brethren. Dirtbags take note, the days of paying $100 for great pair of climbing pants are gone.
Wants pants that are tough, flexible, comfy and purchasable by the pallet. Allow me to introduce, the Urban star. These are the jeans of dirtbag climbing legend. Yup, they’re from costco. I shit you not.
Here I am rocking the Urban stars. Spandex jeans… also make your butt look more then appetizing.
They even work for the whole walking thing
-Stretchy like Yoga pants (not that I’ve ever had a pair… of yoga pants… but to be honest my body doesn’t bend in such a way that these pants limit anything.)
-They seem to last (These pants are pretty hard to kill… not saying a knife and some anger wouldn’t do the job, but if that’s a day to day concern, you’re fucked anyhow). I blow through a pair of Carharts quicker then these beasts.
-Comfy in that special way (They don’t cup my balls in that way I don’t like when I’m wearing a harness… you either know what I’m talking about or not…because you’ve got small balls. Ha. I’m laughing like a child as I write this)
-Cheap as child labour ($15… a pair. I don’t have an adequate understanding of world finances to understand how this shit is possible, or if ethical, but that’s a shit cheap pair of pants.)
Alex follows up the last crappy bit of Takawakakaka Falls 5.7 The book puts the route at about 1300ft long. Though most of that is traversing… it’s more of an invigorating walk then a climb. There is however, a cave at the end!
-The child labour sweat gives the pants on odd smell.
-They’re kinda hot. My special bits get sweaty in a way I’m not quite jiving.
-They’re a cotton spandex blend. Cotton you say? That’s shit in the rain. Well, if you’re climbing in the rain, you’re pooched anyways.
Climbers tips for the hordes
Also have had the chance to pursue my other favourite activity. Larching… it’s like leafing, but more relevant in the Canadian rockies. Here we combined Bouldering and Larching up at RockBound Lake.
Here’s Fred Giroux following up on our Epic First Ascent of a route on Yamnuska we’ve dubbed “Red Dream Shirt Bed” 5.11b/8 310m give or take. Requires exquisite route finding skills, a determination to keep traversing at random, and a strict commitment to not checking the topo. A classic any day of the week. By this I mean, we started up Red Shirt 5.8, then got lost and ended up on Dreambed 11b.
Oh… and I went to Rifle, Co. It’s super america amazing. Ben Quek in the Skull cave.